Anti-drought

‘Look, it’s simple. If you connect batteries positive to negative you’re connecting them in series. That means the amps stay the same and you add the voltages of the component batteries to get the voltage. On the other hand if you connect them in parallel, that is positive to positive and negative to negative, the voltage remains unchanged and the amps get added together. Savvy?’

I looked at my older brother with as much contempt as I could muster.

‘Of course I know that,’ I lied. ‘Everyone knows that. You’re not as clever as you think.’

‘Oh fuck-off back to your homework.’

‘I hope your solar system project burns up in the Sun.’

‘Listen to him. Solar PANEL system, idiot. What do you think I’m doing, building planets like Slartibartfast?’

I hold back my tears of anger and frustration. I feel stupid like I always do with my older brother. I can’t help myself:

‘Who’s Fartyfartblast?’

My brother dissolves into helpless laughter:

‘You don’t know diddly-squat do you?’

I run to my room before he sees how hurt I look.

For the next few weeks I watch as my brother toils in the garden shed and searches the Internet for information on inverters, charge controllers, circuit breakers, UPSs and other things I don’t understand. He won’t let me help him.

‘The last person I need ballsing things up around here is you. Just go away and leave me alone.’

At long last his project is ready. He makes a very big thing of it, showing his friends around and getting a lot of praise from Mum and Dad.

‘So, when do you turn it on?’

‘Tomorrow is the great day and you’re all invited.’ he says, soaking up the praise like a giant monster sponge.

I slope off to my room feeling left out and see the weather from the Met Office on my monitor.

‘The weather forecast for tomorrow is gloomy. Early morning mist will be followed  by drizzle and thick low clouds all day. This pattern will be repeated for at least the next seven days and probably beyond.’

I smile then burst into uncontrollable laughter. 

©Steve Luckham
October 2022